Truths in Sweaty Sermons.

There is no telling what the future holds. Basically, everything about life is a mystery; the beginning of it and the end as we are constantly reminded by our pastors. It is this ‘mystery’ that builds the foundation of many things like the content of our prayers because somehow we think we can convince whoever is aware of the future to change its course to match our desires. Maybe even increase our tithe; repent to be more convincing.DSC01622  With every new day added to my life, I realize even more how much NOT knowing the future may be the reason anyone can ever be truly happy at any moment. It’s like staying away from your partner’s phone or some logic similar to that. That the little you know-now-the better but ultimately time brings everything to light and our pastors turn out to be more accurate than anything in those moments.

Is there such thing as happiness? Is anything worth holding on to or is it all a ticking bomb waiting to justify Biblical verses and more of sweaty sermons. Someone pass my Pastor a handkerchief, I need to hear more, I need to connect the dots, I need to live my misery now because, maybe, there isn’t such thing as happiness.


Purpose and Time.


I’m stuck in traffic. So i’m forced again like yesterday and the day before yesterday to stare at the same old building. It’s a storey building, I wonder why it’s abandoned and why some of the homeless street families are not making use of it. There’s smoke on it’s walls; it probably went down in a fire. I notice the building is in half and so i drift further to another hypothesis, it’s right on the edge of the historic Thika superhighway. It was probably partially demolished to pave way for the construction of this road. Then i drift further, maybe closer because now i’m back to reality. The 9.00 am news headlines are  read and it’s hits me, we’ve been on this same spot for an hour. The 8.00am news were read while i was taking a tour of this building that’s now slightly etched to my memory. It makes me think of time and it’s value. In the one hour that I’ve been on the same spot, at least a million children may have been born, deals have been sealed and billions have changed hands. Ideas have been created, some may never come to reality;some may change the world. It makes me wonder of the value of the close to 25 years I’ve graced God’s beautiful earth. Just a while ago, I was trying to figure out when was the last time I was still,in the same spot nothing to do.It was probably in my early teens when I wasn’t a part taker in any decision making. The only trip my mind would take during such a time would be through the pages of a novel. …


Bless the day you came into my life.


7 months old,

His smile so wide,

It radiates through his eyes and into my heart.

Making my soul rise with and blossom

With this love so pure.

They talk of flesh of my flesh,

But this the only flesh from my flesh.

The only love,

That deserves the seal,

‘till death do us part.’

This connection so divine,

Even mother nature bows down in respect,

Coz no connection so strong as this bond,

And so as I watch you squeal in excitement,

As you dive into my arms,

I watch you curl up in my bossom.

And I bless the day you came into my life,

You’ve nourished my life,

Peace and strength in times of turmoil,

Better days are coming

From my womb till forever after,

You are blessed from above and on earth.

My gift that keeps on giving.




Thank the womb that brought you forth,

Praise her that taught you to speak,

Pray for she that worries for you.


Quarter-life Crisis.

We all know or at least have heard about mid-life crisis.Right?Have you ? Ok,if you haven’t,it’s that point where apparently grown ups start doing things they failed to do while they were young.Dang!Now you know!

Anyway this post is about the quarter life crisis which happens to people in their twenties.I dont know which part of the twenties exactly but I guess its somewhere in that after-uni age between 22-25 or i think  coz lately i’ve had some symptoms of this particular syndrome and trust you me,it isn’t easy.Wait did i just reveal my age,i’ll edit it out later.(edited) Now what happens is,you are at a point where you are trying to figure out yourself, and unlike in your teens where you were struggling with such issues as self-esteem,here we are dealing with some major stuff and your parents are not there no more to bear half the struggle.Like for instance you dont understand why you all left school at the same time and now some people look like ten strides ahead, half the time you are broke as hell and like i mentioned,you are on your own.The biggest issue here is you are totally unstable emotionally,mentally everything. You feel you are young,then you feel you are grown up and responsible and then you feel you don’t know. Anyway,here is something that i found that almost summarizes that and is inspirational in some way. i.e coz i believe the ultimate inspiration is knowing you aren’t alone.Yeah, you are not alone !

Thanks for stopping by.


Being in your twenties…
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are many things about yourself that
you didn’t know and may not like.You start feeling
insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you
are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close
to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met,
and the people you have lost touch with are some of the
most important ones. What you don’t recognize is that
they are realizing that too, and aren’t really cold, catty,
mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job… and it is not even close to what
you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are
looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have
to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions
have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and
find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly
you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life
and are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn’t. One minute, you are insecure
and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You
feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is
the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear
life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where
you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you
loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and
wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love
someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out
why you’re doing this because you know that you aren’t a
bad person. You want to settle down for good because
now all of a sudden that becomes top priority. Getting
wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You
begin to think a companion for life is better than a
hundred in the shack and for once you would not mind
standing tall for that special someone which otherwise
you had never thought of until now.
You go through the same emotions and questions over
and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry
about loans, money, the future and making a life for
yourself… and while winning the race would be great,
right now you’d just like to be a contender!
What you may not realize is that every one reading this
relates to it.We are in our best of times and our worst of
times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing

I’ll be fine.

I'll be fine.

The sun was setting,

Copper brown was the complexion this time,

My heart was soo full

A flock of flamingos swept by above

Feng-Shui;The flock of love..

I was dazed..smitten

All at the same time.

Everything around me

Resonated with what was blooming

Yeah,finally something was blooming.

There was peace

As i sat on the old two seater car chair.

Two seats coz there were two.

Had been fleeing this feeling

The tenderness that makes one so vulnerable

Then for once i knew what hugs felt like

The feeling of safety

That squeeze on my palm which meant,

I belonged…at least so i thought.

Then summer came went and came again.

I was still there,

Walking in Memphis on the stereo in the background

How far that heavy sound took me.

When the purple blooms of October had fallen,

The rain washed them and the white cascade of butterflies

Bouncing off and away in the distance.

It Was all gone.

Just like it came.

Soo peaceful i was.

Soo sad i was .

I spoke with a lump in my throat.

A bag of tears hanging below my eyes.

Wanting something to drown it all on

Yeah on a pillow?

But the end justifies the means..

My soul was rested.I’d found my strength.

And collected every piece of me.

I’d molded it all.Bit by bit through ten seasons.

With this might.

I’ll be fine.


Our story

our story

Ours is a story
I love to tell
And be part of.

Ours is a bond so rare
Ties with no loops
That make meaning to any man.
But for me and you.

Our story so beautiful
Everything blooms in the path we walk
Even grass breathes new life
We bring life, no destruction.
Our story is for every man to believe
And renew hopes that were dead within.

Am afraid

am afraid

Am so afraid,

Afraid of myself

My destiny

It seems like an empty bowl from here.

Nothing on it for me.

My hard work won’t pay.

My dues would be ‘nothing’

Am so afraid..

It’s beginning to show on my skin

So strangers on the street ask me why I’m sad,

Little children look me deep in the eye with pity

My mystery is showing

Like a leper

I’m now spotted and spotted

They say its harder to find love.

Even harder to find loyal love

They are lying

Two people are hard to find,

Someone who believes you and someone who believes in you.

#I rest my case.

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